Joy in Sorrow: Finding Light in Life’s Hardest Seasons

Welcome to Purpose of Heart, the podcast, where real stories meet God's promises. I'm Priscilla Allman, and every week we dive into powerful conversations about purpose and the pressure through caregiving, illness, grief, addiction, and more. If you've ever asked God where are you in this, you're in the right place. Be sure to follow the show and let's find purpose together. Hello. And welcome back to Purpose of Heart, the podcast. I'm your host, Priscilla Allman, and this is just a space where we have honest, faithful conversations that bring us closer to truth, healing, and purpose. Today's episode is a tender one. The kind that evidently invites us into spaces that we may not always feel prepared for, but deeply need to understand. Because in those spaces, we often find compassion, clarity, and a deeper sense of what truly matters. I'm so honored today to be joined by Jill Thompson. Jill lives in Jacksonville, Florida with her husband, and she strives each day to live with intentionality as a wife, a mom to four adult children, and as the director of Inheritance of Hope, which is a nonprofit devoted to helping families find joy and hope in the midst of a terminal illness. Since joining the organization as its founding in 2007, she has witnessed firsthand the beauty and strength that comes from building a lasting legacy. She's deeply passionate about connecting others to this mission, whether that's inspiring families, engaging donors, or building meaningful partnerships that will carry this work forward. Jill, it's truly a gift to have you here today. Thank you so much for joining me.

Thank you so much, Priscilla. I'm happy to be here. Looking forward to having a conversation today.

I'd love so much to simply give you some space to share your heart with us. Like who is Jill beyond the title, behind the beyond the roles, and sort of what has shaped your journey to bring you where you are today?

Yeah, well, it kind of all ties together, which I love. Um, back when I was a young mom, actually, I was pregnant expecting my first child, I encountered a friendship that changed the trajectory of my life. And her name was Kristen. She became my best friend. We were young moms doing young mom things. We were both pregnant at the time. She also had a toddler, and we were going to the park and the library and story time and all of those things that you do as young moms. And um, unfortunately, on her 30th birthday when she was in the hospital for some symptoms, they discovered a tumor on her liver. And um, you know, she had three little ones at the time. I had one and another in my womb. And we were not expecting this. And the doctor said it's probably benign. Um, it ended up being malignant, and that put her on a journey that changed the trajectory of her life. Doctors said she didn't have much time. Thankfully, she got nine more years. That was a miracle, and God doesn't make mistakes in that way. But that was a moment for me that really impacted me for a couple of reasons. One, um, I think up to that point, I like probably many people listening, maybe also yourself, I didn't really think about death as something that was like imminent or urgent or near. It was like maybe when I'm 90 or 100, I don't really have to think about death. At that point, I didn't even have wrinkles, right? So I didn't even have to think about like the the death signs that that happened to all of us as we age. Um, since then, Kristen in those nine years was really trying to be intentional about preparing her children for her impending death. And doctors, you know, gave that prognosis. Uh, but she was also living well, like fully living and embracing what matters most. And so during that time is when we started Inheritance of Hope. And we looked around and realized there were other families like Kristen's who were navigating illness and death, and they had young children and they needed support and resources, and there wasn't anything, and there still really isn't anything for the whole family unit. And so that's where we, Inheritance of Hope, was born to basically come alongside every member of the family, so the diagnosed parent as well as their spouse, who might now be a caregiver, and their kids from the tiniest infants up to the teens and young adults. So for Jill as a person, I know I jumped right into Inheritance of Hope, but that moment back in my young, you know, early 30s really gave me this like platform of what clear, I guess I'll say clarity, what matters most? You know, the the dishes, the laundry, uh, it can all wait. But just like building up these kids that that I've been entrusted with, making sure I'm an instrument of God's light to those around me, um, making sure that I'm intentional with each day. Like today, I was, I woke up, I have breath in my lungs. What a gift. I don't take that for granted anymore. Even like these wrinkles that show that I have aged since then. I celebrate them. I'm not one to say, like, oh no, I'm turning X number, like this is terrible. I don't even want to tell people the number. I like tell people the number. How great! I'm this old. What a gift to have another day, another year of life, even as it, you know, shows and moves you closer to death, which I hope we get to talk more about a little bit. Um, that's in your intro, you said some conversations that maybe you don't typically have. I think in our world, death is one of those things like you whisper and you kind of turn away from, like pretending like if I don't see it, it's not really happening, which we know that's not true. Um, it is happening. And so to lean in and to like be in those spaces, it is a precious place to be. I have my life is richer because I'm in those places a lot, um, walking alongside people who are intimate with the reality that we're all gonna die someday. Um, they just happen to have this prognosis given to them by a doctor that gives a little bit extra push, which um even sometimes is a gift too.

Yeah. No, that's you know, as I as you were speaking, I was also thinking of like just even things that have happened in my own life uh in this past year recently. Um I had an uncle who suddenly, you know, passed away. Um he did have a cancer diagnosis, but he was going through treatment. But that actually wasn't the thing that it actually was um the reason for his ultimate death. He actually broke his hip and then got the flu while in the hospital, and it was like a situation and sort of accelerated his timeline a lot quicker than you know what was originally proposed. And so I was just thinking like how much his life changed so instantly, and also what you were saying about how your friend, like, even though she was given this prognosis, she was living well. And I think that it's such a reminder to like use the time that you have because tomorrow isn't promise, and I think that sometimes it's so easy to say, like, I'll do this when, or when I get this more together, or you know, put conditions around life, and then you just really don't know sometimes what the next day holds. And so I mean, I that must have been so hard and so eye-opening, but it's also wonderful that like you saw the like the need and decided to fill the space too and not just you know, see it and walk away.

Yeah. Well, I do think that it is a tendency of most people to to turn away from things that are uncomfortable. So, you know, today we're talking about terminal illness and death, but you know, we don't typically push towards things that are uncomfortable. And I'll say, you know, I prayed back in those days, like, God help me. And I do feel like there is something on me that's maybe different from other people because I run towards people that are dying, and I don't think that is in all of us, that like urgency to run towards people that are dying. But I do think that in all of us, even just if we're not thinking outside of ourselves, just like in our own lives, not allowing ourselves to become numb to the fact that death is a reality. I heard um one time somebody said that was much wiser than me, like death is a one-time act that's like over and done in a second. Everybody dies, it happens. The fear of death is something that steals so many moments of our lives all the way up to that moment that it actually happens. So if we can remedy that fear of death, which I think many people have, and it presents itself in different ways. It might present itself by like turning away from suffering or um covering up and tightening and nipping and all the wrinkles, all you know, the things there's no harm in that, but I think um just allowing ourselves to like face this reality that's gonna come to all of us. Um, I love the fact that you know, in the Bible, we're offered a perspective that goes beyond this life, which to me is a total game changer. If I didn't have that, I wouldn't be able to do this work for 16 years that I've been doing because without that eternal perspective, it would feel very bleak and dark and heavy. Um, but even as I'm walking out, however many more days I have, however many days you have, to be able to like not let the fear of death, something that's gonna happen in a blink sometime later, rob me of my life now, all these beautiful, wonderful moments that I have now. Um, I'm not gonna let that happen. I'm not gonna let the fear of death rob me of those moments.

Yeah. And it brings up, you know, even just being ready eternally as well. Like not losing the day-to-day things, but then also making sure that you yourself are prepared. Um that when it is your time, that you know that your salvation is secured and that you're going to heaven, and also as a parent, then having that you know, extra um responsibility to also expose your children to Christ as well. Um because while you may not be able to take anything else with you, you know, in this life, you can at least know um that by his spirit you can take your children with you. And so that's that's definitely important.

I love that you said that too. And Kristen, my friend, um, who started Inheritance of Hope, her primary heart for the ministry and mission organ of our organization was her three children, that they would know Jesus, that they would love him, they would turn to him when they lost her, and that that would be the tie that binds them together, her in heaven and them on earth. And so it was like her primary source of strength. Um, one of my favorite Bible verses is in Romans 15, 13, and it says, May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. And you know, we have the word hope in our name, inheritance of hope. It's not like I hope there's a cure for cancer, or I hope there's a cure for ALS. Of course, I do hope there is a cure for those things because I hate those illnesses and I hate what they do to people that I love. Um, but even if there was a cure for ALS tomorrow, my friend with ALS that's now cured is going to die someday. Um, maybe when they're 80 or 90, maybe when they're 50, I don't know. But I want to make sure that they have the hope that lasts. And that verse that I just quoted, the only thing that's our responsibility in that verse is as you trust in me. Like he provides the hope, he provides the joy, he provides the peace, actually to overflowing, which is what the verse says. Like it will overflow from you, but it's not because I like mustered up the joy and the peace and the hope. It's because I trust in him, and then that is the byproduct. You know, that's also kind of how the fruits of the spirit in the Bible, you know, that's also a byproduct of abiding in Christ. So our, like you said, knowing the gospel is like I need to trust in him, abide in Christ, meaning like giving him control and link in with him. And then all these other byproducts are beautiful, extra blessing, hope, joy, peace. Um, so that's what Kristen wanted her kids to know. That's what I want every single person we serve with inheritance of hope to know without a doubt. And I want all your listeners to know too. I think we all are better if we know that. It changes everything. Everything.

Yeah, no, that's so beautiful. And as we were speaking, I was reminded about um Moses and Jacobed when that whole proclamation was like sent out. Um, and then she hid her child for some time and then put him you know in the river, but it had to take trust in order to say, like, I know you're gonna take care of him. And you know, God orchestrated the right um circumstances to happen that her daughter was there and was like, hey, you know, I know a lady who can nurse him for a little bit, she got him back for some time. And then, you know, obviously she gave him over again. But you know, just to be able to say, like, I'm trusting you fully with my children, knowing that you know, obviously he can take care of us and everyone better than we can. Um, but that the hope, the joy, all of those things that he provides, it's such a beautiful thing. So um I wanted to go a little bit into more of um your walk a little bit with your friend. What did you learn about love in that space? And were there some moments where God felt especially close, or maybe some moments where maybe it felt a little bit distant or harder to sense him?

Yeah, I I can relate to both of those things, and I know something that I've always tried to do is cling to the promises in the Bible, but you know, sometimes we get the promises wrong, so we need to like go back to the word and make sure the thing we're clinging to is an actual promise of God and not just something that like we made up based on how we feel, or maybe even what a church somebody in church has told you. Um, and so when if you think, okay, God would not allow these bad things to happen, like Kristen's only 30 years old. She has three little kids. I'm this young mom walking alongside my really young, beautifully impactful friend. And it's like, it's so easy to say, like, God, why would this happen? Or for even outsiders to look at this and be like, is there unconfessed sin? Like, why is she being punished in this way? It's like, that is not what the Bible says. The Bible doesn't say, like, when you're a believer in Christ, life is gonna be easy and smooth. It actually says you will have trouble. Like, that is a fact. You will have trouble. And Kristen's verse that she actually wrote a book called Consider it pure joy, based on the verse in James that says, can consider it pure joy when you face trials, they're gonna happen because you know that the testing of your faith will develop perseverance. And we saw that happen over and over again. The beautiful thing of like, we will have trials, we will have trouble in this world, but the promise that I cling to, and Kristen did as well, I still do, is that he will not leave us, he will always be with us. And there are like countless scriptures. If you Googled, you know, God is with us, it's just like one after another after another, the Old Testament, the New Testament, and that's the promise Kristen clung to. That's the one I clung to. So sure there were times where I'm like, God, why? I don't understand. Like, why would you take a young mom from her young kids? And he's given me glimpses, which he didn't have to do over the years of like, maybe why? Like, I still can't make sense of it. I wish she was still here. Um, she was 39 when she passed. Um, she would be a grandma. Like last month, her son, his wife just had a baby, and I grieved it all over again. Like, she should be here for this season of life that's so sweet. It's gonna make me emotional. You know, so even like last month when Luke had his baby, it stirred up in the meeting. She passed away in 2012. So we're 14 years out. And I grieved again in a way where I'm like, God, why? And you know, he gently, like he does, said to me, like, I am here, I am with you, I care. And also, like, gave me this little, I don't know what it's all like. Heaven is a mystery, but it's gonna be great. I'm like, she might have met that grandbaby already. Like, she might have already, she already maybe knows his personality even better than we do. Um, because that's heaven, you know, like how cool would that be if she's not missing out. In fact, she's already experienced the fullness of his life and his legacy. Um, it doesn't take away the sting from me or from you know her son that misses her and we want her here. But I changed my prayer from like, God, why are you letting her miss this season? He's like, oh no, no, no. She's not missing anything. And that, you know, is a is a great gift to me. Um, I have a story. Do you mind if I tell this story? One lady. Um, her name is Sherry. We served her family through a lot of our programs. Um, her and her family came on one of our legacy retreats, and I got to meet them there. And then she started to attend one of our online support groups that I happened to facilitate. Um, there are a lot of groups. I only facilitate one, but she came to mine. And we became really close friends, but she lived in Colorado, I live in Florida. Um, but throughout our weekly gatherings, I really came to know her and love her. And she was getting sicker. And there was one Christmas where she was put into the hospital a couple of weeks before Christmas. She had a tumor that had grown on her spine and it was causing a lot of problems. And her family lived in rural Colorado. So it was like a three-hour drive to this Denver hospital that was, you know, equipped to take care of her. So I knew she was in the hospital. She still joined our group every week. I was praying for her. We were interacting online. And I got the opportunity to go to Denver because my daughter was getting engaged. I was there for 48 hours. It was the quickest trip ever. And my husband and I, we got a rental car. We drove to this mountain where our son-in-law proposed to our daughter. It was magical and wonderful. And then we drove back to the Denver airport. We had like 30 minutes before we had to turn in our rental car. And I said to my husband, that's the hospital where my friend Sherry is. And she's been here all through Christmas, and now it's New Year's. This has been like a four-week stay away from her family. And I went to visit her thinking, I'm going to encourage her, I'm going to pray for her with her. It's true that I did that. I ran up to her room. I said, Sherry, I only have 30 minutes. What I didn't realize was God was going to use that moment to change things for me. Of course, I encourage, I encouraged her and gave her a hug and prayed with her. But what she said to me when I said, I hope and pray that you get to go home today, because that was in the talk. The doctors were saying they might get to send her home. And she smiled at me with this huge smile. I wish I could show you her face, big, beautiful eyes. And she said, God is here. And it just like hit me that I was wanting her. To go home to be with her family, which was valuable to be with the ones you love. But she had the truth of the scripture. God is here in the hospital bed with all of her issues. He was there. And she just glowed as she told me that. And I've used it over and over again as I talk to other families that are facing death. She did get to go home a couple of days later. She did pass away about a week later. And God was there in that hospital bed. He was there with her at home. He's here with me now and with her boys and her husband. And I just love that truth of the word when we read God is with you. It doesn't just mean he's with you, like when you sense him or like when you want him. And be like Sherry, even in the most dire circumstances in a hospital bed, recognize the truth of that. It changes your countenance, it changed her whole face. And it changed me forever. Um, I just emailed her husband right before this podcast because I knew I wanted to share that story and I wanted to make sure he was okay with it. And I told him, like, I'm still telling her story all the time, and that meant a lot to him as well. God is here.

Wow. No, I was like, well, while you were talking, I was like, I need to take a second because I have that effect. I'm sorry. No, because I um so I mean for me, I had a different career actually before going back to school. And my grandma and my great aunt lived with my family for the longest time because um they were in and out of the hospital. It was just my mom was like one of their main caretakers. And after going back to school, I you know really wanted, you know, my grandma to see me graduate, and she actually passed just last year, about a year before I just graduated two weeks ago. And um she was you know old, uh, she was about two months shy from her 101st birthday. But I know she lived such a beautiful life. Um but through the two stories that you just shared, one the story from your friend really spoke to me about um, you know, maybe she sees, you know, she already knew her grandson and saw those moments ahead of time. But then also, you know, I've watched my grandmother walk through moments of intense pain and um things like that, but also was like, you know what, we're gonna take a moment, we're gonna pray. And while she when she prayed, she thanked God for where she was and that he was with her and things like that. And I think that when people walk through different circumstances, it has one of two, you know, main responses is either you draw closer to him and they're like, I know that you're with me, holding me through this, or turning away. And thankfully, I had an example of you know, a grandma who was strong in the faith and like turned towards him, but you could really see the difference, as you said, about like the change in countenance and like knowing that he's near. I think that that perspective really changes everything. So thank you for sharing both of those things. I was like sitting there like Priscilla, keep it together.

You don't have to keep it together. Yeah, we don't have to keep it together, thank goodness.

I know. Um Yeah, I know that those moments will definitely stay with so many people because I believe that I think that people go through a lot but don't necessarily talk about it. And you know, I think that bringing community together is what is really helpful. So grief, you know, it's something that so many people do walk through and they often walk through it silently. Um what did grief look like for you in that season and how did your faith evolve during that experience?

Yeah, well, I'll say grief in general, like for my friend that passed away, but since her, through my work with Inheritance of Hope, I have come to love and cherish many people who have died. So my grief has been ongoing through many, many relationships, some personal through like my family, people that I've lost, and then also through the people that I've come to love through my work. Um, and I would say, you know, in all of my grieving, I've learned that it is a form of love. And so, you know, the fact that I grieve so many means I've loved so many, which is a richness in my life that I won't diminish. Like I'm gonna grieve. I'm gonna grieve hard and I'm gonna grieve often because I have so many people that I love who I've I've lost here on earth. And so um, you know, it looks differently. I I mentioned before in different seasons of my life. You know, I've grieved the loss of my best friend since 2012 when she died, but then grieving it afresh last month when her son had a baby, that was a whole thing I didn't really expect. Like I've missed her. Obviously, there's been moments I've missed her more than others, but man, there was something about him having that baby that just sent me on this, I won't say spiral because it wasn't negative, but sent me in this deep grieving for this season of what what I feel like she's missing. But like I said, probably she's not for what I'm missing with her. Like we don't get to do this together. Her son doesn't get to have his mom there, which you know, you can grieve that. And so years from now, I'll probably be grieving something else. Um, but that just makes me feel so blessed that I loved that deeply, that I can still grieve that that relationship because it was a really sweet one. It was a valuable one. I think anyone who keeps it to themselves is missing the opportunity to share their love with the world, their love for that person. I think um I know a lot of people who are grieving, who, you know, we maybe tiptoe around the topic of the person they lost, of like, I don't want to trigger them or make them sad by bringing up their mom or their dad or whatever. They're thinking about their mom or their dad, like every day of their lives. It doesn't matter if they died yesterday or they died 20 years ago, their mom or their dad is part of their soul and they lost them and they're sad. So you bringing up their name, mentioning a story, in my experience with all the people I've dealt with, that will only help them on their journey. It won't hurt them, even if they cry, even if they start sobbing, that is actually not terrible. Crying and sobbing is like a natural part of our like grieving process. And so, what did you what if you just put your arm around them and not even say anything? Just sit with them in that moment, speak the name of the person that they loved. Um, one of our small groups online is the Life After Loss group, but it's all widows and widowers who lost their spouse and they're still actively parenting young kids. So it is a, they love each other fiercely, and they are a community of people who really get it, right? You're still parenting is hard. It doesn't matter if you have two parents or one, it's hard. And so these people have lost their loved one, their like partner for life, and their parenting. And those people said they're gonna make a shirt that says say their name because they just want to hear their loved one's name. They want it to be remembered, they want to hear stories about them because they're already thinking about their person, whether you bring them up or not. So I love the vulnerability that you can invite people into by just saying the name of the person they lost. I I love talking about Kristen. Um, I love talking about other people I've lost, like my friend Sherry. Um, there's lots of others I could share, but I think it's it's a sweet gift to grieve because you loved. Pity the person who doesn't have anyone to grieve.

I think that's an interesting perspective shift too. Because so often we look at grief in a negative light and to say that, oh, I'm feeling this type of way, but to say that you're grieving because you loved that that puts it in a much different perspective. What is a verse that or passage of scripture that sort of took you through your hardest moments that you sort of leaned on?

Well, the one I mentioned from Romans 15, 13, I cherish. I I want to have hope, I want to have joy, I want to have peace. So I love that verse that God promises me those things when I trust in him. I also love the consider pure joy verse, which I've already mentioned as well, and all those verses about God being near to the brokenhearted and being near to me and all of us. Um He even says, like, don't be afraid, don't be dismayed, don't be worried, be strong and courageous, because I am with you. I love all of those. And I love like Psalm 23, where it's like, when you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, you do not need to fear because I am with you, which I love. I love that. Um, but I think the verse I'll steal from Kristen, because one of the verses that really got her through some of the harder days was in Psalm 30, verse 5. And it's weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. And it's this promise that things might be rough right now. You might be going through something difficult, but there will be an end to it. There's a promise of joy. You know that God is in He's sovereign, he's in control. Um, he's not gonna leave you there, and he doesn't waste our pain. So this weeping and this struggle, whatever it may be, whether it's death, terminal illness, or other things, divorce, bankruptcy, I mean, all the things we face in life. Um, joy is in the joy comes in the morning, which I just like I live in Florida, we get sunrises that are amazing. I love that just reminder, like his mercies are new every morning. So it it that brings me joy, that verse. And all the others I mentioned. You asked for one. I'm sorry, I totally hijacked it.

That's totally good. Because I think it's so great to know that no matter what, as you said, he works it all for our good. And I think that's a beautiful, like he doesn't waste anything. Um and actually so um one of the verses that you did say, that you did quote, um I actually have written down um that the Lord is near to those who has a broken heart. Um, and I because I was like, you know, I feel like your story uh reflects that nearness even in the pain. So it's really cool that you you brought that.

Well, and I feel like that was also part of that the story I shared about my friend in the hospital when she said God is here. You know, her heart was broken. She was sad, she missed Christmas and New Year's. The last one she was gonna celebrate, she missed it with her family because she was in the hospital. She was brokenhearted, but her countenance was full of joy because God was near, he was there. And I yeah, I love that that verse, that promise. We can all cling to that. Yeah, it's good. Good minds think alike.

So most definitely. I think it also highlights like the necessity of staying close to God and developing a relationship with Him because we know that trouble sometimes are gonna come. We may not know what they will be because they will be different for everyone. It will not be a terminal illness, it could be just something else, but there are gonna be hard times. But as was quoted before, you know, we know that we can be a good year, that he has overcome the world. And it sort of reminds me a little bit of when Moses came down from the mount and his face like showed and it was because he had been with God, and so it's like the just the difference of that it makes in your whole person, your countenance, your overall everything, how being with him and being near to him makes a difference. Yeah, immediately so um talk to me a little bit about how legacy shows up in the work that you do. That you've been with Inheritance of Hope since the very beginning. Just talk to us a little bit more about that.

Yeah, I think um, like I shared with Kristen's heart for her children. Um, this was a mother's heart for her child, and she wanted them to make sure she wanted to make sure she was still a part of their lives even after she was gone. So she did things like recording videos for them at certain milestones. She wrote some letters for certain milestones and even wrapped some gifts and put them in a chest for them to open when and if she wasn't there. Um, I think that was powerful because some people might say in that situation, especially if anyone's listening who has a cancer diagnosis or something else going on in their life, there might be some people in your ear who say, Oh, don't do that. Like that means you're giving up. And they might push you not to do that. But I would actually say the opposite is true. Kristen was laying in bed at night with these like, what if? What if I'm not here for their graduation? What if I'm not here for their wedding? What if I'm not here when they turn 13? And it was like keeping her awake at night, these like worrisome thoughts. Instead, she took control of that, made some videos for those things that she was worried would be the what ifs, I'm not here. And then she was able to rest at night. She was able to put those worries aside. And when her oldest daughter turned 13, which was one of the first milestones she chose to commemorate, she was alive. She was doing well. She was on a trial treatment, she was healthy. Um, so she was able to give her daughter this gift that she had wrapped years ago with the cards she had written. And so, what a gift! It wasn't like she was giving up and she was like, okay, now I can die. I've put these things in place. Absolutely not. It allowed her to live better. And so that sort of mentality is what we've carried into a lot of our resources with Inheritance of Hope. So I will often share with groups of people that are sick and people that aren't sick right now these ideas, these um intentional ways to build a lasting legacy so that we all can have some of these things tucked away. Uh, so one of the things Inheritance of Hope offers to the families we serve and also to the general public, anybody can anybody listening to this podcast can make a legacy video for their loved ones. There is no charge at all, no cost, no strings attached. We have a team of legacy video coaches who will meet with you on Zoom. They will help you through the process, they will take care of all of the technological difficulties or logistics. And then we back it up to a password-protected cloud. We send you a card with the link and we also send it via email. So you can tuck that away and share it with your loved ones whenever you want, or you can watch it yourself years from now. Um, it's like a snapshot of time. Some people even choose to like read their kids' favorite storybook or sing their family's favorite song, but also our legacy video coaches can interview you and record what matters most to you. So I feel like that's a part of Kristen's legacy. She did that for her kids. We now offer it to everyone. Um, we feel very strongly about that. I've made many legacy videos over my life, and I love that they're tucked away. And my family has those to look at whenever they want. Uh so that's a gift. Uh, we also do a few other legacy workshop type things, just helping people think creatively about ideas like um recording your voice, doing certain things, making sure you're capturing your recipes and the stories behind the recipes, um, some of your favorite artwork and what it means to you, different ways to capture those sorts of legacy. But we feel like legacy is something you leave one day when you die, yes. But it's really something you build right now. You're building a legacy, whether you're intentional about it or not, you are doing things today that are impacting the way people are going to remember you a hundred years from now. So why not be intentional about that and live in a way that reflects the way you want to be remembered? Uh, so videos and recordings and written word will help solidify that. What matters most to you? It matters a lot. And so Inheritance of Hope is all about helping people build their legacy. I know we didn't really talk about our specific audience in Inheritance of Hope, the organization, is young families facing terminal illness and terminal, that's an ambiguous term. I'll say like stage four cancer or ALS, Huntington disease, things that are incurable at this point in time. If you are a parent that has an incurable disease and you have children living in the home anywhere from zero to 18, we have a bunch of programs to include legacy retreats, which are like weekend experiences, all expenses paid at a resort or a fancy hotel with lots of activities and volunteers, and it is the most magical weekend. We also have the online groups and we have in-person local groups that meet. So if anyone listening is in a family like that, or you know someone in your church or school or neighborhood, we want to serve them in many ways. And so we didn't touch on that a lot, but I want everyone who hears this to know that's what we do. This legacy component, we also offer in addition to the families we serve, we offer to everyone because we have seen the impact and the value of building a legacy for all of us, whether you're sick or not. So it matters a lot to me too. I'll say one other thing. Whenever you see a large tree, this is how I like to think of legacy, the people that are standing in the shade of your tree and eating of the fruit of your tree long after you're gone. So those big trees that are oak trees, like in my area, they've been here hundreds and thousands of years. Um, that's legacy. And so building that and taking care of it now, fertilizing it, growing it, allowing the roots to be deep and wide is what legacy is all about to me. So we get an opportunity today to be intentional with it. It's kind of fun.

Because honestly, I think it also helps to give meaning. Um, even when you're working through creating those moments. Um it may happen maybe at an accelerated time when you're making you know all of the presents or all of the videos at one time instead of over time. But it's such a beautiful way to you know, sort of honor and commemorate um someone's life and have them be around, I guess, for a little while longer. Because there's there's something so powerful about that even in the face of loss. In the beginning, uh you spoke so beautifully about intentional living. What does that look like for you in your everyday life to live with that level of purpose? And how can families grow closer even in difficult seasons?

Yeah, I think um living with intentionality and purpose, you know, certainly some of those projects that I talked about are part of that, like making the videos, writing the notes, but even just like telling the people that you love what you think about them, um, offering that as a verbal, but also as a physical, like what however your family dynamics are, every family is different. Making sure that the people that I'm I try to make sure the people that I love know that I love them, that I tell them often, that I show them that love. But beyond my family unit, I think our world is hurting. There are so many hurting people. And being able to be a light just through a smile, through a gracious word. Through a gracious response. That's part of my legacy. Even if those people aren't at my funeral someday, to stand up and say, oh, when she smiled at me and offered me that word of encouragement, it really changed my day. Like Jesus sees what I'm doing. And, you know, God sees what I'm doing. I want to live a life that honors him and glorifies him. I think that's the greatest legacy. That's the one that really counts, right? Like the treasures on earth. We know moth and rest destroy, but laying up treasures in heaven means sharing the gospel through the way I act, the way I speak, the way I care for others. That changes everything about my legacy, but also, like you said, my children. I didn't even appreciate until now. My kids are 18, 21, 22, and 23. They have grown up with inheritance of hope perspective. Like this has been my job their whole lives. They knew Miss Kristen before she died, and they loved her and they love her kids. Like their kids, we're all close still. And their perspective is so unique and rich and sweet because they don't fear death. Death is part of life. They know that. And they know that a lot of people in our world die in their 30s and 40s because Inheritance of Hope serves people with young children, which are young people. And so it's not foreign to us. Um, and I hate to say this because it is a topic most people avoid, but like statistically, it's one out of every 20 children that lose a parent to terminal illness. This is the real statistic. So every classroom, like I mean, some of the classrooms are bigger than 20, but about one in every classroom is going to lose a parent to terminal illness. We're experiencing it in neighborhoods and churches in inheritance of hope. We know these people intimately by name, and we run towards them with the hope of Christ and with these resources and tools that I mentioned. But like what a gift in my own household. I'm thankful. At this point, my husband and I haven't had a terminal illness. My kids aren't one of the one in 20. They're already past the age of 18. But they have that rich perspective that comes with not ignoring reality. They face reality head on, and they are better humans because of it, in my opinion, which I love. That was a bonus. I didn't even expect that thinking about my work years from now that it would impact my kids.

Yeah. I I think that conversations like this remind us that time is such a gift and that love is meant to be expressed when we have that opportunity. For someone listening today who may be walking through grief, caring for a loved one, or carrying fear about the future, what would you want them to hold on to?

Wow, so many things, but that this is not all there is, and that death isn't the worst thing. Um, separation from God is the worst thing. And currently we know people who are separated from God right now here on earth, and then we know people who are abiding in Christ and connected to God. And I I it's obvious to me a lot of times when I am encountering people in both camps. And so if I died today, I'll tell you it's not the worst thing. I am with Christ in a better format than I am today. But right now in this room, in this podcast, I'm with Christ now too. So, you know, death is not the worst thing, but I do know that death is hard and grief is hard and grief is painful. And so if someone listening is grieving, I'd say let yourself grieve and appreciate that you had that love in your life. Um I'm walking through it right now with somebody very intimate to me. And you know, you might post on Instagram like a happy day, and happy days are good and they happen, but you're still grieving, and that's okay. Um, this is not all there is, and there is the the eternal perspective really changes things. So if you don't know Christ, I would say run towards him, find someone who knows him and ask. And the prayer that he answers 100% of the time is when you pray, God, I need you, be here for me. He's here for you. And he'll open your eyes to see the ways that he has been here for you that you haven't been able to see before because you were blinded to it. So I pray that all the time, Lord. Open her eyes to see your love for her and the way that you're working in her life or his life. Um, so I would say pray that prayer, run towards Jesus. Death is not the worst thing, but it is hard. Um, and you're not alone. You're not alone because there's lots of other people navigating it, but also because God is with you. And like my friend Sherry in the hospital, God is here. Doesn't matter if you're in a tent or on a stage. Um, you just have to pray and ask him to show you and to open your eyes to see. Which man, I hate that so many people are hurting. Uh, I do want to say too, though, in the inheritance, if you're hurting and you meet the demographic that I described, like we are constantly trying to put people in community so that they don't feel isolated or alone. So if you're a teen and your parent is sick or you lost your parent, there's a teen group that meets every week. And those people get on Zoom and they're like, I get you, I get you. This is hard, this sucks, I hate this. And then they're, you know, guided by a facilitator through some healthy ways to talk and communicate. But if you're a widow and you're still actively parenting, like our life after loss group, those people will get you and it'll be a place to find sweet community. I think, you know, when God created us, we're not meant to do this alone. So especially if someone's listening to this and they are alone, like physically alone, if you are isolated and alone, find your people. Go to a church and ask for the people, you know, text or email Priscilla or myself from the show notes because you're not meant to do this alone. And of course, God is with you, but sometimes you need a person to be able to point you to the right place and lift you up. And that's a sweet gift that we have community. So find your people.

Yes, amen to all of that, and it's such a promise that we're never alone and he will never leave us nor forsake us. And he's always there. And how awesome and how humbling it is to know that the God of the universe created each and every one of us also wants to be close to us and in communion with us and behave himself for us. I mean, in a way that was so you know, it's it's crazy, you know, when you think about all that he went through, like, you know, like on the cross and things like that. But he's like, you know, they're worth it. And you know, they're gonna go through stuff, but I'm always gonna be there for them no matter what. And then we're also in community too.

My friend Kristen used to always say that she felt like God's favorite child, and it's interesting because that's very biblical. Um, God's not limited to one favorite, he is a limitless God. So we all get to be God's favorite child. And my prayer, our prayer at inheritance of hope is that every person we touch would know the love of Christ in a way that they feel like God's favorite child. And when Kristen like was in the hardest part of her treatment or her grief or her journey, that was when she felt the closest to God. It was like he was so near. And I think many of us who are doing fine were like, I'm good, I'm good, I got this, I don't need help. And that's not the place, the posture we want to be in is like, I need you, God. And then we we feel that intimacy, and it's like, I am God's favorite, I'm God's favorite child. And when Kristen said that, she was dying of a terminal illness at age 39. And she said, I feel like God's favorite. And so anyone listening, you are also God's favorite child. Um, you'll read it over and over again in the Bible. He loves you with the perfect love, the perfect love that casts out fear, the perfect love that welcomes home a prodigal when they like go astray and do everything wrong. If you feel like you've done everything wrong, welcome to the club. You are not alone, but God still loves you and he runs towards you and he covers you with his robe. And that's the love of a father for their favorite child. So that's really cool. You are God's favorite. So am I. So am I.

Oh, Jill, thank you so much for your honesty, for your compassion, and the way that you have spoken about your journey with your friend and how it can become a source of hope for others. Um, before we close, how can people connect with you or support the work of Inheritance of Hope?

Yeah, um, you can visit our website, inheritanceofope.org, and you'll find all of our resources and programs. So you can refer people. Um, we are a nonprofit ministry, so obviously we are always looking for partners, people to come alongside, either as volunteers or as donors. Um, we're completely funded by a bunch of people who give generously. Um, so certainly if anyone has a family foundation or a legacy that they would like to honor through that, we would love to do that through giving. So inheritanceofope.org is the place for all of that. And if you want to reach out to me personally, I welcome emails. My email is Jill at inheritanceofope.org. And I'd love to hear, you know, anything about what we talked about today or any other questions that people might have. We're on Instagram and Facebook as well if people prefer social media. Um, and we also have a podcast. Um, it's called the Inheritance of Hope Podcast, and we have a bunch of different podcast series, um, but the first several podcasts are all families that we've served and stories of impact. So if anybody wants to listen to those, they are available on YouTube and Apple Podcasts and all the places.

Awesome. And also we'll have some links down in the show notes as well. Um but I just want to make sure that overall, right, regardless of whatever situation you're in, whether you have a terminal illness or not, we've spoken a lot about that eventually everyone is gonna die. And you don't want to die without knowing the Lord Jesus Christ as your savior. And so if you have any questions or need any help or don't have a church family that can help you along with that, please don't hesitate to reach out. You just need to do some simple things like acknowledging that you're a sinner, accepting that he has given you this free gift of salvation, telling him that you believe on him and asking and accepting him into your life. And if you'd like to be walked through that or need any resources, I'm also gonna put some in the links below and just reach out to us. We'd love to hear that you've accepted Christ. Um to everyone listening. If something in today's conversation touches your heart, don't rush past it. Lean in, reach out, love well and be present. Because every single day is an opportunity to build a legacy that truly matters. In Matthew chapter six, verse twenty-one, it says, For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Thanks for listening to Purpose of Heart the Podcast at www.purpose of heartpodcast.com. Make sure you hit that subscribe button so you never miss an episode. There's just so much more God is doing, and I don't want you to miss a thing. Thank you in advance for the reviews and shares. They help this message reach more hearts. I can't wait to walk with you again in next week's episode. See you there.